New Year’s Resolutions: Our Favorite Detectives’ Promises for Self-Improvement in 2012
Lauren Carr gave up her career of writing mysteries for television and stage to try her hand at writing novels. She wrote A Small Case of Murder while staying at home with her young son. Her first book, A Small Case of Murder, was named finalist for the Independent Publisher Book Awards. Old Love Dies Hard is Lauren’s fourth book. She learned to love mysteries as a child when her mother read Perry Mason to her at bedtime. She resides in Harpers Ferry, West Virginia.
Lauren has a brand new website—
and a brand new blog—
All of her books are available for free lending if you are a Kindle owner and an amazon prime member. They are all part of Kindle Owners’ Lending Library at
http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000739811
Yes, it’s that time of year again.
After a season of eating, drinking, and being merry, it is time to make that overnight transformation into a better person by chucking those bad habits and irritating traits that do nothing but annoy everyone and get us into trouble.
I stopped making New Year’s resolutions years ago. I mean, how can I possibly improve? However, my dog Ziggy has made a few resolutions. Noticing that he was losing his slender school dog figure, he has resolved to eat fewer dog biscuits and take more walks. That will end when he comes to me with his leash when I’m in the middle of writing a particularly daring chase scene.
Of course, we all like to think that our favorite mystery detectives are perfect. Like everyone else, when it comes to taking a good honest self-assessment, they, too, can all stand to make some adjustments to become better people.
For example, retired homicide detective turned millionaire playboy Mac Faraday, of my Deep Creek Lake mystery series, is planning to strive to 
get along better with Gnarly, the German shepherd he had inherited from his birth mother, mystery writer Robin Spencer. This resolution will end thirty-seconds after Gnarly steals the neighbor’s New Year’s Day pork roast.
I can imagine the resolutions some of our other favorite mystery detectives would make:
Perry Mason: This most famous literary lawyer created by Earle Stanley Gardner would promise to consider making an honest woman of his Girl Friday Della Street, or maybe not. I think their relationship would have been much less interesting if there wasn’t that wondering. “Are they, or are they not, a couple?”
Sherlock Holmes: Get clean of the cocaine and morphine. It is interesting to note that I first read The Hounds of the Baskerville back when I was in high school. I had no idea that Sherlock Holmes was “doing drugs” until way into college. I still remember my shock when it was pointed out in one of my literature classes. I don’t know if that is a comment on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s portrayal of his brilliant detective or my lack of perception and naivety. It should be noted that back in Doyle’s day in England, cocaine was legal, so the use of it was not taboo. In which case, I most likely didn’t take notice about Holmes’s use of it because of how it was portrayed in the book.
Miss Marple: Her neighbors in St. Mary Mead would probably wish that Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple would resolve to be less nosy. Not only do they have to look over their shoulders to beware of the police while committing murder and mayhem, they have to keep an eye out for the elderly spinster next door.
Sam Spade: Dashiell Hammett’s private detective promises to be more sensitive. He’s all signed up for a six-week sensitivity training course after the first of the year.
Nero Wolfe: Rex Stout’s reclusive, robust detective with gourmet tastes vows to go on The Biggest Loser.
Monk: (We can’t not list Monk when it comes to self-improvement.) Lee Goldberg’s Monk promises to be less obsessive and compulsive … but then he wouldn’t be Monk.
Columbo: To be less annoying, especially to murderers … but then he wouldn’t have so much fun on the job. Just look at his smile at the end of Columbo when he nabs the killer. Detectives aren’t supposed to have so much fun catching murderers.
Unfortunately, if all our favorite detectives got rid of their little idiosyncrasies, then they would lose the very elements that endear them to us.
It reminds me of a friend I had in my youth. Every time we’d get together we’d go to Baskin Robbins. On the way in the door we would promise to only order one scoop. But as soon as the clerk asked for our order, we’d blurt out our request for the biggest sundae. Then, while chowing down, we’d talk about how much weight we needed to lose and how next time we’d meet we’d go to the gym.
Finally, she gave up Baskin Robbins and the sundaes and even (Gasp!) lost weight. Yes, we still got together, but it wasn’t fun and interesting anymore.
It’s the same with our detectives. They’re like friends with whom we can share our little vices. Columbo solving a murder without toying with the killer along the way is just another detective solving a murder.
This is not to say that faults are a good thing. No, faults are called faults for a reason. But, when it comes to our fictional crime solvers, these imperfections are what make them … the perfect detectives.
December 30, 2011
Posted in: Guest Blogs
Loading ...
4 Responses
Maybe Columbo could resolve to be a bit more tidy, not as absent minded, iron his suit once in a while, and get a new paint job on his car! But you’re right, it’s the quirks that make our heroes so much fun.
Sally Carpenter
Sandy Fairfax, the amateur sleuth in my series, is making his New year’s resolutions: to stay sober, to keep working in show bYz and to make amends with his estranged family–while dead bodies drop all around him. And my personal resolution is to finish writing his next book!
Sally Carpenter
Thanks for stopping by. My New Year’s resolutions is to not make any resolutions. I made that a few years ago and have done pretty good at keeping it.
I think Flavia De Luce will resolve to not be quite such a snoopy kid and she’ll fail miserably. Chet, of Chet & Bernie fame, will resolve to stay focused on the investigation at hand when a squirrel darts by—again, total failure. Thanks for such an entertaining list of resolutions, Lauren
Leave a Reply